Dont do it
by totallytomboy1996
Summary: Tony is going through a tough time, can Gibbs and the team help him ?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: hi this is my fist fic so please don't be to hard on me !

Disclaimer: when I own NCIS you'll be the first to know.

Tony stood on the rooftop. He'd been there for the past half hour and he still didn't know what he was doing.

"Just do it!" his fathers voice growled at him in his head "Stop crying, how old are you?"

Tony ran his hands down his face, at least he wasn't crying this time. It started to rain as he closed his eyes,

letting the tiny drops of rain roll down his face,as if it could wash away how he felt. Tony sighed and sat

down on the edge of the building, wanting nothing more than to jump off . The troubled man closed his eyes

again, images of the people he'd come to love, his team, his family ran through his head. Unfortunately so did

their voices, criticising him, telling him to jump. Tony stood up shakily , he was going to listen to them.

" Tony, what are you doing?" this voice wasn't in his head. He spun around ending up face to face with his boss.

Gibbs stared at Tony for a long while as he studied his shivering form. The boy was drenched, how long had he

been there? More to the point why was he there in the first place? Gibbs took a step forward and tried to place a

hand on Tony's shoulder but the younger man only backed closer to the edge. One more step and it would all be

over. Then it dawned on Gibbs, slower than it should have. He should have listened to ducky. He should have

listened to his gut.

Flashback

"_Jethro may I have a word?" Ducky asked hoping he could talk some sense into his buddy_

"_Is it about the case Duck?" Gibbs replied, wanting to get their latest case over and done with._

"_No it's about young Anthony."_

"_What about him ?" the former marine continued impatiently._

" _well." Ducky paused for a long while. "I'm rather concerned, Anthony hasn't been himself for a while now. He's _

_always in a bad mood, he always looks tired, he concentrates even less than usual and have you noticed how skinny he's gotten._

"_What are you implying?" Gibbs replied harshly_

"_For gods sake Jethro, don't you see it? Anthony's depressed!"_

"_depressed? That's ridiculous!" Jethro said not believing his own words._

_Ducky sighed heavily " Jethro, he's your boy and he needs your help, talk to him, please."_

_Jethro turned and left the room. _


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: hi again, I was amazed that there were some people who actually liked my first chapter!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS. Yet.

Gibbs looked at the young man he considered his son. How could he have been so blind?

"I can't do this any more." Tony said, his voice barely above a whisper. Gibbs knew he had to be

careful of what he said, one false move and …....

"Look, Tony I understand that-"

"Don't say you understand , because you don't!" Tony cut in. He was louder this time, angrier and

unconsciously moving closer to the edge.

"Tony, please-" Jethro didn't get to finish as Tony stumbled backwards over the edge ,with a yelp.

Gibbs sprung into action, he leaped forward and grabbed Tony's arm as the young man dangled in

mid air. For a split second Tony's disturbed green eyes met Gibbs' concerned ones and with a

grunt the

older man hauled Dinozzo back to the safety of the rooftop. Tony lay flat on his back, his breathing

laboured and his eyes closed. Gibbs grabbed Tony's wrist tightly and the panic set in.

Flashback

_Anthony Dinozzo Sr grabbed his eight year old sons' wrist tightly as he landed five more blows to _

_his chest._

_" Mabye now you'll learn to behave." the aging man growled at young tony._

_" Please father, please stop." the young boy managed to choke out. He wasn't sure how much more he could take. His father paid no attention _

_to the helpless boy and continued to beat him. Sickening cracks could be heard as the blows got harder._

_"Please!" Tony screamed repeatedly until he finally slipped into darkness._

A/N: this chapter took a little longer than it should


	3. Chapter 3

A/N : WOAH im soooo sorry I have completely neglected this story, you know how it is: homework, important exams. again really sorry.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed or added me to their story alert thingy. ttx

Disclaimer: if I owned ncis,trust me, you'd know about it.

Tony's eyes fluttered open. His neck was stiff from the position he was in on the floor and his sore legs were at an uncomfortable angle. The young man groaned in pain as he sat up and looked around. At first he didn't recognise where he was. Then he remembered. Tony got to his feet and ran towards the stairs as quickly as he could, dodging the half completed boat and knocking over several tools in the process. He was almost at the staircase when a strong pair of hands gripped his shoulders.

"And where do you think you're goin ?" Jethro Gibbs asked, turning the weak man around to face him. Tony said nothing but looked at the floor , avoiding eye contact.

" Tony," he said in a much softer tone " we need to talk."

Gibbs loosened his grip on the young man's shoulders and guided him over to a small work bench.

Dinozzo sat down, fidgeting while Gibbs picked up the tools scattered on the floor. There was a long awkward silence.

" so, you gonna tell me what happened last night?" Gibbs asked. No reply, not that he was expecting one. Gibbs sighed heavily and set himself down on the edge of his boat.

The two stared at each other for a long time before Gibbs spoke again.

"Tony, why did you do it ?"

"Because no one cares." Gibbs wasn't sure what hurt him the most. The small, weak, helpless, voice that escaped the mouth of one of the bravest people he'd ever met or that the young man he adored honestly believed no body cared.

Gibbs rose to his feet, suddenly angry.

"What's wrong with you?" Gibbs asked Tony harshly

"I really wish I knew." came the small reply. _Is he really that stupid_ Gibbs thought to himself still fuming. He watched as Tony slumped his shoulders and began to stare at his hands. Jethro growled, picked up the thin sailing magazine lying next to him and hurled it at his head. Dinozzo looked up, a questioning expression on his face. Gibbs ran his hand through his hair and sat down next to Tony

" You seriously think we don't care about you?" Gibbs asked as Tony continued staring at the floor

"C'mon, everyone thinks the world of you, everyone that matters any way." Jethro really didnt understand where all this was coming from. Tony spoke again, his voice quiet and full of pain

"The one peson that truly mattered hated my guts.

suddenly the memories came rushing back.

Flashback

"_What the hell is wrong with you?" Dinozzo Sr yelled at his nine year old son. He was fuming. He had been having a very important dinner party and jr had managed to screw it up. Big time._

"_I'm really sorry dad" Tony began, grinning to himself, he wasn't the tiniest bit sorry " It was an accident, I swear." _

_his father growled "firstly," he hissed through his teeth " It's father or sir." This didnt bother Tony, he was expecting that_

" _and secondly, I don't care if it was an accident. Your a disappointment and you bring shame to this family." He got closer to the young boy before he continued " I want nothing more to do with you"._

_ And somehow, those words hurt more than any beating ever could._


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi guys, I just want to say I'm sooo sorry for not updating this in like... 7 months and you guys have probably given up on this but I felt I had to Finnish this, not sure how many more chapters there will be :)**

**disclaimer: I don't own NCIS. yet**

Tony wasn't sure how long he'd been staring into the distance, how much he'd said and how much he'd just been thinking. Tears poured down his face but he didn't care any more, he was empty inside and Gibbs could see that.

"I'm sorry." started Gibbs, running a hand through his silver hair "you should've come to me sooner."

"It wouldn't have changed anything." Tony's voice remained quiet, his eyes unmoving from the sander in the corner of the room "would it?"

Gibbs had no response, for once he was lost for words. He couldn't leave Tony in this state, but he knew he had handle things in a certain way. He needed more time.

"go upstairs Tony, get some rest." he said, laying his hand on the broken mans shoulder. Dinozzo didn't complain or protest like he was expecting, just rose from his seat and started to move slowly up the stairs. Sighing, Gibbs began work on his boat. What was he going to do?

A few hours passed before agent Gibbs realised he was getting no where with his boat and it was time to check on Tony. He could hear the pattering of raindrops as he got further up the stairs and entered the small spare bedroom. Gibbs looked over to the neatly made bed , Tony was gone and he felt like an idiot. He should have known this would happen. Jethro thought back to what ducky had told him a few days ago _he's a danger to himself, keep an eye on him. _Well he'd definitely screwed that one up. Gibbs was about to exit the room when something registered; the draft was coming from the window and it was opened far wider than he'd left it. Opening the window further and leaning out, Gibbs breathed a sigh of relief at the pair of legs dangling from his roof.

He clambered up next to the man he thought of as his son and watched him drenched with rain.

"de ja vu"

Tony looked at his boss puzzled . Gibbs spoke up again, "well you seem to have thing with heavy rain and roofs." Tony just continued to gaze over the rooftops.

"You didn't say much earlier, but from what you did say..." Gibbs paused briefly "you need to talk about it Tony, and I'm here to listen."

Tony knew Gibbs was right so he closed his eyes and began to re- live his childhood.

"it started when my mom died, I was seven at the time..."

_Flashback_

_Seven year old Tony Dinozzo sneaked quietly into the house. Brushing off the snow he climbed the stairs to his room but only half way his fathers stony voice called out to him._

"_where have you been Anthony ?" _

_The small boy saw a look in his fathers eyes that terrified him. Since his mother died Dinozzo Sr had been different. Unpredictable. _

"_I just went for walk dad, it was snowing," he stopped, unsure if he should say the next bit "It reminded me of mom." his voice was quiet, broken. Sr ascended the stairs and stopped near Tony. But rather than pat him on the back or give the poor boy a hug, he slapped him hard round the face._

"_firstly, it's father or sir," a line that would be used frequently in the Dinozzo household _

"_and secondly, don't you dare talk about your mother" _

_Tony was confused. He knew before his mom died Sr was a hostile person but now... He felt a hand grip the collar of his shirt, drag him up the remaining stairs and discard him in his bedroom. As the man he once called dad retreated from the room he just about heard him mutter_

"_it should have been you, not her" The seven year old sobbed himself to sleep on the creaky floorboards. He wished it had been him too._

_**Thanx for reading, hope it was okay. Please review:)**_


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